1) TALK ABOUT BEING HAPPY
It sounds corny..but so what. We check in with each other from time to time to see how the other person feels in the marriage and about the marriage. This allows us to then discuss how to address any concerns that we may have.
2) TALK ABOUT WHAT’S BOTHERING YOU
hen something’s bothering you (even when that something is your spouse), you should be able to tell your spouse. Don’t let unresolved issues turn into resentment in your marriage. I have heard that great communication has 2 components: 1. effectively communicating (i.e using the right tone, picking the right time, and making sure your point is understood) and 2. listening (i.e – repeat what you hear, dig deeper and ask questions, let your spouse know that you understand.) But I always say there is a 3rd component, caring. If your spouse is telling you something over and over, then it must matter to them….so the question is..does it matter to you…are you going to work with your spouse towards a solution.
3. TALK ABOUT YOUR DREAMS
You and your spouse can provide tremendous support to each other towards achieving your dreams. Share what you are passionate about with your spouse and then work together towards achieving it.
4) TALK ABOUT YOUR DAY
Sometimes, this doesn’t happen until the kids go to bed. And some days, it does not happen at all. But we try not to let too many days go by without getting caught up with what’s happening with each other. Does your spouse know what is going on at work? Does your spouse know the latest gossip with your family?
5) TALK ABOUT BEING WRONG
If you’re wrong, you need to be able to put your ego and pride aside and say you’re wrong. We ran an excellent article on our site recently by relationship coach Rahaman “Kil” Kilpatrick titled, Why Is It So Hard to Say I’m Sorry. In it, he says it’s so hard to say you’re sorry because of PRIDE. ” Kil says that a lot of marriages are staying in the same place or moving backwards because there’s too much pride involved.
6) TALK ABOUT THE KIDS
We parent together which means it’s necessary to talk about plans and goals for the kids. We also think it is important to keep a united front. So if we have differences in opinions (especially about discipline) we try to work it out together first and not in front of the kids.
7) TALK ABOUT YOUR FINANCES
We (Lamar and I ) always say that before you get married you need to talk about many things …with finances being one of them. A few factors that play into financial issues for couples are: not understanding how each spouse uses or manages money. Not knowing their habits before you were even married?……Was your spouse a big spender? Not being honest about debts going into the relationship and about spending habits during the relationship. And if you want to come together financially then you have to: have open communication about your finances (financial transparency), share information credit card and bank statements, establish goals and a budget, and meet frequently to discuss finances
8) TALK ABOUT YOUR NEXT DATE
We hear people say all of the time that they either don’t have the time or the money to date their spouse. But if it is important to you, you will get creative and come up with a few ways to spend some quality time together. Check out this video about
9) TALK ABOUT YOUR GOALS
We hear people say all of the time that they either don’t have the time or the money to date their spouse. But if it is important to you, you will get creative and come up with a few ways to spend some quality time together. Check out this video about
10) TALK ABOUT NOTHING
You shouldn’t need a reason to talk to your spouse. I bet when you were dating, you talked for hours about anything and everything. And when you ran out of things to say, you probably listened to each other breathe on the phone. (I confess…Lamar and I are guilty of this.) You should check out this article by Dr. Michele Johnson, Marriage is for Soul Mates not Roommates where she shares: Now that I’m married to my soul mate, I have no intention of going back to being roommates, especially not in a house we share and purchased together. Soul mates do more than share space; they share their hearts. Soul mates do more than room together; they sleep together. Soul mates do more than pay bills; they provide financial stability. Soul mates do more than live together; they make a life together